The Woes Of InterGender Tennis
by Natarii-loves-Chocolate-milk
Summary: The credit crunch has had an adverse affect on the boys middle school tennis leauge; Atobe is deemed insane, Marui finds it impossible to escape his latin teacher's wrath, and Ryoma perfects apathy. AtoFemRyo FemYuki,Kintaro,Kentaro,Sengoku,Jirou,Rin.
1. Chapter I: Guess Who's Back In Town?

**CHAPTER I**

**GUESS WHO'S BACK IN TOWN?**

* * *

"Ryoma! Hurry up, you're going to be late!" a brown-haired man yelled up the stairs towards his daughters bedroom.

There was a grumble before a series of loud curses emerged from the room - apparently, Ryoma had caught sight of her alarm clock. There was a familiar cycle of loud crashes before came the thunder of footsteps on the stairs. The black (blackish-green really) haired girl darted into the kitchen in her uniform. She hurriedly began to wolf down the pancakes her mother placed in front of her with a resigned shake of her head (though not with ought a look of distaste first).

"Oi, what's that you're wearing young missy?" her father asked taking in the sight of the _boys _uniform - black trousers, white shirt, and un-buttoned black military uniform jacket instead of the green skirt and jacket combination she was supposed to be wearing.

"I sent it back," her mother stated, grabbing a piece of toast from the toaster.

"Why?" Nanjiro asked an injured tone in his voice for some reason.

Rinko sighed at her husband's attempts to remove his daughter's tomboyish nature.  
"You of all people should know Ryoma would have turned up in her jeans if faced with a skirt," she grumbled around a mouthful of toast, flicking over one of the legal documents for one of her clients.

"But-"  
"I'm not wearing a skirt," Ryoma stated flatly, rising from her chair and picking up her tennis bag before dashing for the door.  
"Bye mum"  
"Oi!"  
"Yeah, you too old man"

The door slammed itself behind her as she dashed from the house, chuckling at her fathers loud protests:

"I'm not old brat!"

* * *

"Hey Inui, did you hear?" a boy with light brown hair and what appeared to be a near constant smile on his face asked the taller, glasses-wearing boy walking next to him.  
"Fuji? You mean the new first year Coach Ryuzaki was talking about?" the boy asked, stopping just short of the entrance to their school.

"Yeah, you know anything?"  
"Oh! You guys heard about it too?" an energetic redhead asked with obvious interest, a boy with short black hair standing behind him.

"Morning Kikumaru, Oishi - and no, Coach Ryuzaki wouldn't tell me anything besides they were a skilled player and the son of one of her old students" the black haired boy replied with slight irritation. He was not used to lacking information on his fellow tennis players, even if they had never met.

"I guess we'll just have to wait for afternoon practice," Oishi reasoned.  
"What? Why not morning practice?" his redheaded friend complained.  
"The first years have their enrolment ceremony first thing"

To their left, at the other side of the school entrance, a girl with brown pigtails was looking at her watch with panic written on her face. She paced back and forth, wringing the handle of her racquet-carrier in her hands.

"Sakuno!" a low, yet still feminine voice called out.  
"Ryoma, you're late!" she yelled, though more out of worry than anger.

"I wanted to introduce you to Tomoka before enrolment, and what if you missed enrolment, or what if-" the girl was dithering back and forth spectacularly, much to her friend's amusement.  
"Clam down before you trip up over something Sakuno" the black haired girl smiled jokingly.

"Jeez, come on! I don't want to be stuck with seats at the front of the assembly hall!" the girl known as Sakuno replied, dragging her friend from the gates by her black-sleeved arm.

They dashed past a group of senior students carrying tennis bags. The black haired girl spared them a brief glance, taking in the brand of the bags, before turning back to Sakuno as they hurried into the school building.

Inui looked away from his notebook as two first years dashed past. He recognised one as their coach's granddaughter with ease, but the second was a mystery. At first, he was certain she was a boy from the uniform, until he heard Sakuno's familiarity with her in the midst of their conversation (from what he had observed during his few meetings with the girl, she was as shy as a mouse).

This caught his interest long enough for him to notice the large racquet bag on the girl's shoulder.  
'_She has three racquets? Interesting…'_

* * *

"Hey, Echizen!" a loud annoying voice called after Ryoma as she headed towards the shoe lockers.  
Turning briefly she recognised the red-brown haired annoying boy from her class.

'_What was his name again? Hiruto? Hiroto? Horio!'_

"What?" she asked, as the boy caught up with her.  
"Are you joining the tennis team?" he asked as they entered the area designated for the shoe lockers.

Ryoma grunted in confirmation as she pulled on her shoes and walked swiftly out to the courtyard, hoping to rid herself of the irritation and find Sakuno. She would probably be twice as lost if she asked Sakuno for directions to the tennis courts, but she did not really want to spend more time with Horio than necessary. He was a nice enough person and all, but he was too damn loud. And somewhat annoying.

She was so absorbed in her thoughts she did not notice the second year until she had walked into him.  
"Oops sorry- hey, you a first year?"

Ryoma looked up at the boy with black her and what she supposed was a joking smile. Good, he did not take it personally - she could be bothered dealing with getting into a fight on her first day.

"Its fine, my bad" she replied half-heartedly.  
"Echizen! Wait up! I- hey that's a second year! What cha talking to a second year for?"

Ryoma twitched with irritation, but made no move to show her irritation.  
Instead, she ignored Horio and turned back to the second year.

"Can you tell me how to get to the tennis courts? I have to talk to Coach Ryuzaki, but she isn't in the staff room," she asked, with a weak attempt at politeness.

She could not be bothered - she had to get her application in to the old bat.  
The second year did not seem to mind the lack of manners, smirking at her courage instead.

"Echizen! You can't talk to our sempai like that!" Horio squawked, clearly horrified.  
"Its fine, I'll let you boys go this time. The tennis courts are behind the gymnasium. Coach Ryuzaki is probably in the clubroom going through today's practice set up" he smiled goofily.

Ryoma mumbled her thanks.

"What, but Echizen isn't-"  
"Hurry up Horio; I have stuff to do later y'know"

Horio hurried after her, saying something about playing tennis for two years.  
Ryoma ignored his jabber in favour of a text message she had just received.

- - -  
_**From:**_ .:Awesome-Prowess:.  
_**To: **_-R.E·Tennis01-  
_**Subject: **_Welcome to hell brat.

_How was your first day missy?  
- - -_

Ryoma pondered this for a fem moments before sending her reply:

- - -  
_**From: **__-R.E__·__Tennis01-  
__**To: **__.:Awesome-Prowess:.  
__**Subject:**__ Re; Welcome to hell brat.  
- - -_

_It was normal… I think I have a friend-type-thing, but it's annoying. And Loud. And Stupid.  
…__Sounds sort of like you Monkey King.  
}:p  
- - -_

She paused, waiting for the message to finish sending, before furiously tapping out another message, snickering as she did so. Horio did his best to ignore the deranged noises as he continued to attempt instigation of conversation.

* * *

"So how about it? You want to give it a shot?" the brown haired second year known as Arai asked with a smile too forced to be natural.

'_Oh boy, this has extortion written all over it'_ Ryoma to herself, trying to blot out horio's constant jabber of two years of tennis playing.  
She hoped those other two kids didn't get dragged into…

'_Oh, too late…'  
Oh well.  
It their loss not hers._

Before long Horio and his two companions had exhausted their ten ball supply, and the three second years had looks of triumph on their faces. Ryoma watched on in boredom as the additional payments were revealed, wondering when the old bat would show up. She had not been in the clubroom when she checked before being wrapped up in this mess.

"Hey, do you think you can get of scott free brat?" the voice of Arai demanded obnoxiously.  
'_So much for staying out of it…'_

"Fine…" Ryoma grumbled, fishing a red racquet out of her bag.  
"No Echizen! That's nuts! There's no way us first years can hit that thing!" Horio protested, backed up by Kachiro and Katsuo.  
"Well, duh, it has rocks in it. Of course you can't hit it normally" misunderstanding Horio's protest.

She threw the ball up in the air, letting it fall before swung her racket down onto the yellow sphere, directing it towards the can. The ball hit the top of the can, knocking of the lid and knocking it over. Small scraps of stone and gravel spilled onto the tennis court, and her fellow first years turned on their sempais.

'_Jeez, where is that stupid old bat? I have to give her my registration and paperwork…' _she thought to herself, throwing the ball and swinging her racquet once again.

"If I hit it a hundred times will you give me a million yen?" she asked in a cocky tone, enjoying the stunned look on the faces of the second years. If she had to wait for the old bat, she might as well have some fun while she waited.

Before she could hit the can however, someone else did, and with enough tremendous force to force her eyes into widening for a moment. Whirling round she found herself face to face with the second-year from earlier. She heard Horio squawking in recognition outside the court too.

"Jeez Arai, you can't go around bullying first years" he reprimanded, presumably jokingly before adding in a darker tone: "you can't".

Ryoma for one was wondering if the guy had some sort of repetitive tick in his speech pattern, like a broken record perhaps.  
She got the impression this was a common thing…

'_Jeez, where is that damn old bat? I need to be sorting out all my paperwork, not pondering the speech patterns of muscle-idiots!'_

As Ryoma pondered this, she almost did not hear the familiar newcomer - who seemed to be known by the name Momo if the other second years were anything to go by - introduce himself.

"Second year; Takeshi Momoshiro! Call me Momo!" he stated cheerily. Ryoma gave him a blank look.  
'_Momo? Who calls a boy Momo? Girly name for a boy…'_

"Okay" she stated, decidedly uninterested in the strange nicknames of her seniors. She turned around, planning to go back to the clubroom to see if the old bat had turned up yet when a hand grabbed her shoulder.

"I didn't say you could leave yet kiddo," he grinned down at her.  
'_Dear god, what fresh hell now?'_

_

* * *

_

Bunta Marui stared at the text in front of him with a look of pure loathing.

Beside him, his doubles partner sighed to himself before going back to his own work. He could hear Akaya having a small panic attack in the seat behind him - most likely the blood and gore. If it was enough to make their vice captain squeamish, then there was no doubt Akaya would too.

It would not be so bad if he could take a normal class, but his father's persistence had resulted in an unwanted talent for the dead language and placement in the advanced class. He was insistent on its eternal presence in his timetable.

Only one more year after this… then freedom!

'I_t's not even in Japanese characters… Why is it so important that I learn this?'_ he complained to himself, scribbling an angry translation of the passage he was reading. It was a delightful story of human sacrifice, blood, gore and all - at least he couldn't complain about boring course books.

As he scribbled, he felt his phone vibrate - an indication he had received a message. Being careful not to attract the attention of the teacher, he moved his phone from his pocket under his desk to a viewable angle, thanking the gods he had remembered to put it on silent mode.

Once certain he was in no danger of being discovered, he press one of the control buttons to view the message

- - -  
_**From: **_-R.E·Tennis01-  
_**To: **_.:Candy_Pop:.  
_**Subject: **_Guess who's back in Japan?  
_- - -  
Just thought you'd like to know before I beat your as in the Tournament for Nationals Sugar-Fetish.  
:P  
- - -_

He stared at the tiny lettering in a mixture of horror and delight, ignoring the worried looks from Akaya and Jackal.  
After re-reading the message several times, its meaning dawned on him.

"Ut Brat! Ego operor non have a sugar obsession! Is est pro tennis damno is!!" he swore loudly in Latin.

A piece of chalk flicked his forehead painfully; Bunta looked towards the front and the strict, not-happy Latin teacher.

"Aw haud… Did Inquam ut sicco loud?"  
"Detention, Mr. Marui."

* * *

"Echizen what are you thinking?" Horio wailed quietly, something Ryoma had dubbed as a miracle - not that it made her feel like listening to him.

"You can't play against a second year! Even if you were a guy you still couldn't play him!" he protested as Ryoma pulled out a racquet with a higher string tension.

She was glad her father had gotten her into the habit of wearing cycling shorts and tank tops under her clothing - it meant she did not need to worry about traipsing to the girl's clubroom to change; she just had to pull her tennis clothes over them with no worries over modesty.

She was pondering over her shorts or the tennis skirt her father had foisted on her (she liked the shorts, but despite its skirt-ish-ness the skirt _was_ far easier to move in) when a familiar voice echoed through the courtyard.

"Momoshiro! What did I tell you about playing on that injury? You can wait until tomorrow - when you have the doctor's clearance - to have a match!" Sumire Ryuzaki bellowed as she marched onto the courts, clearly fuming with rage.

"But Coach Ryuzaki! I wanna play the new guy!" Momo complained loudly.  
'_What? New guy…? Have I missed something? Well, whatever…'_

"Hey old bat" Ryoma greeted with a slight amount of enthusiasm - she had not seen her grandmother for several years after all. There was a less than gentle whack on the head for her remark, but Ryoma and Momo noted it had a lot less force than it usually did.

The old woman looked her up and down before sighing in defeat.  
"I swear, you look more and more like that pervert every day" she grumbled, before leaning closer to avoid being overheard.

"Why can't you just wear the girls uniform Ryoma? I think one of my regulars is questioning his orientation…" she added in a quieter voice.

Ryoma raised an eyebrow and glanced towards Momo before turning back to her grandmother.  
"I don't care if they think I'm a guy, it'll be easier to get along with them first anyway - and I hate skirts."

A buzzing from her pocket alerted her to a reply from her earlier message and she shuffled around inside her pocket for the contraption.

The coach/grandmother gave her a calculating glance before grinning in triumph.  
"Ryoma, you do realise you'll have to wear the girl's uniform if you join the official team don't you?" she said quietly - avoiding the boys who were trying to eavesdrop.

Ryoma, who had been busy going over her messages, almost dropped her phone in horrified shock. She turned to the old woman for an explanation, and though her face remained stoic, thoughts of revenge were running through her mind as her grandmother explained her insistence on the Girls Uniform (for tennis at least - Ryoma was relieved to know that she was not required to wear the green _thing_).

As the conversed out of earshot, Takeshi Momoshiro was watching the newcomer with a critical eye. Something about this guy was not right, but he could not place his finger on it, familiarity with the coach aside.

'_I guess I'll just have to wait until practice tomorrow…' _he thought to himself as the new boy - who he still didn't know the name of for some reason - left with the coach towards the clubroom.

_

* * *

_

Yushi Oshitari, the _for-all-intents-and-purposes-when-Atobe-was-not-around_ Vice-Captain of Hyotei Tennis Club, had a problem.

Well, he did not have a problem per se, it was more like his Captain was creeping him out with his actions today; he had become obsessed with his phone. Normally it would not bother him; Keigo Atobe was president of the student council, and Captain of a 200+ member tennis club besides the work his did for his father on occasion.

It was fairly normal to find him jabbering away in god-knows what language to god-knows who in the middle of class, lunch, practice, the hallway, the bathroom, council meetings, etc. What was so disturbing was the fact he was not talking, but messaging.

Keigo Atobe did not message people _at all _- apparently it was too proletariat, and too inefficient for business. He had never once seen his friend send a text message. Yet here he was, willingly texting god-only-knew who in god only-knew what language.

'_Perhaps the apocalypse is coming?'_

Pushing thoughts of Judgment Day aside, he began his search for his sleepy team-mate. Jirou was in atobe's class, and was more likely to know what was going on than anyone else. Well, except Kabaji, but you couldn't really get Kabaji to say much…

Actually, you couldn't really get Kabaji to say anything...  
He pitied the teachers.

Alas, Jirou did not have an explanation for him. His fellow regular had, of course, been sleeping through most of her classes. She had only recently woken for lunch and some quick practicing.

He knew for a fact Gakuto wouldn't care if Atobe had started dancing the Macarena, and all anyone could get out of Wakashi was that_ 'Gekokujou'_ gabble (that boy need help - his fixation with over throwing Atobe was reaching worrying levels).

He also knew that Shishido and Chotaro would be too busy practicing Chotaro's serve to be of any help.  
This left him with only one solution to his problem: Ask Atobe himself.

…The very idea was preposterous, but he had little choice in the matter.

And so, later that day, he found himself all but stalking his captain as he followed him around the courts overseeing practice. Atobe kept giving him strange looks, but he couldn't give in; this was the only way he'd ever get an opportunity to find out what had his captain so out of whack.

The chance arose when Atobe began a practice match of their own. He was about to announce his question when he was interrupted by a strangled, dare he say it, squawk of horror.

"That brat! How does the title monkey king befit one such as I? Monkey King! I am nothing like a monkey! Do I have fur? Do I swing from trees? No! I am not a monkey! That brat… I'm going to crush them at the district tournament for this! Monkey king… how unseemly…"

Jirou, who had nearly been falling asleep on the courts, was wide-eyed. In fact, most of the club seemed to have taken on some expression of surprise. Even their coach was surprised! Since when was Coach Sakaki surprised? One in a blue moon was when he was surprised and there was no blue moon right now...

Well, not every one, Wakashi just looked confused; he probably didn't know how to top a diva fit of _that_ magnitude (and yes, he had tried in the past).

'_I wonder if these events are two signs of the apocalypse…'_

Kabaji, who had been watching the events unfold, gave a nasal grunt - terrifying the younger additions to the club who had never heard him laugh before- earning him a_ 'you-saw-nothing!'_ glare from Atobe.

Sakaki turned towards Oshitari,an eyebrow raised in query.

'…_Ma__ke that three signs of the apocalypse'_

_

* * *

_

"I pity the man you marry missy, his stomach is going to be in constant agony if that's your idea of cooking…" her father stated, giving the congealed soba noodles a disgusted look. Not that she could really blame him - cooking was not her forte.

Unfortunately, her cousin was out of town for the weekend, and her mother was still working which meant she had to do the cooking. Her father had tried to make toast once and succeeded in setting the cooker on fire with his attempt - despite the fact he had not been using the cooker in the first place. He had been banned form the kitchen ever since.

Still, father or not, he had insulted her cooking and that was just not done. It was far better than anything he could have come up with, and for that reason, she threw a spatula at him.

"Hey!"  
"Think about your own cooking before you insult mine; at least it still looks like noodles…"

Nanjiro could find no fault in her argument, and grudgingly let the matter drop (he'd get his revenge during a match later on…).  
Instead, he threw a postcard towards the back of her head.

"It's from Ryoga," he stated as she picked up the postcard from where it had fallen after impacting on her skull.

It depicted a strange castle, covered in snow, and had angular writing in the bottom right-hand corner stating country or town e of origin (which she could not read). Turning it over the handwriting suggested that it was indeed from her brother, and she dived into the message with enthusiasm.

"St. Petersburg? What the hell is he doing in Russia?!" She asked her father, who shrugged his shoulders.

Before she could ask more questions, her phone began to blare out one of the worst ring tones it held - a stupid frog dance song that had fro some god-awful reason been popular in America upon purchase of the phone; It was perfect for the caller. Postcard forgotten, she abandoned the cooking and headed for the stairs (and her bedroom).

"Hey what about dinner? You know I can't cook!" her father protested.  
"So get take-out. It's probably safer anyway…" she replied, mounting the stairs as she answered the call.

"Monkey king!" she greeted cheerfully.

She ignored her father's protests (and those of the Monkey King) as she climbed the stairs, making plans for her weekend.

* * *

**_Poor Marui. I had the same problem in German once; I insulted an annoying person and the teacher thought I was talking to him. The only difference was my German was terrible, unlike Marui's flawless(?) Latin - I was supposed to say idiot but I think I called him a bald sausage man instead.  
My German is very Le Crap. _**

**_I don't know how reliable the Latin translator was, so feel free to correct me. In any case here are the translations:_**

**"****_Ut Brat! Ego operor non have a sugar obsession! Is est pro tennis damno is!!"  
_****_"That brat! I do not have a sugar obsession! It's for tennis damn it!!"_**

**"****_Aw haud… Did Inquam ut sicco loud?"  
_****_"Aw crud… Did I say that out loud?" (Lit: Oh no... - It was as close I could get so please just go with it)_**

**_Thoughts...?_**

**_Nat.  
xxx_**


	2. Chapter II: To Gender Bend,Or Not?

**THE WOES OF INTER-GENDER TENNIS**

**CHAPTER II**

**TO GENDER-BEND, OR NOT TO GENDER-BEND...?**

* * *

Ryoma glared at the tennis ball that she hit onto the wall of the clubroom - in the same spot each time - as she recalled the conversation that she had held with her grandmother the previous day…

* * *

"_Why do I have to wear the girls uniform?!" Ryoma protested as they walked towards the clubroom, and out of earshot of the others._

"_Look, if it was me, I'd let you walk onto the courts in a swimsuit as long as you played a decent game, but the officials are being very strict with health and safety with this - it's a trial run after all" the old coach explained, with some sympathy in her voice._

"_Health and safety? Please tell me that's a joke," Ryoma replied in disbelief.  
"__Sorry, I'm one hundred percent serious."_

_Ryoma stared at her. What did her clothes have to do with health and safety? That was stupid! Health and safety? How the hell was she supposed to be a health hazard? How was having a vagina a health hazard? What was she going to do? Bat her eyelashes until they passed out? _

"_The officials are concerned about your health and safety Ryoma, not the boys."_

_Ryoma briefly wondered if her grandmother was a mind reader, but pushed the thought aside.  
"__That's being sexist!" she protested, slumping onto one of the benches of the clubroom grumpily._

"_Maybe so, but theyre also being realistic. Like it or not, there are some strong players in this tournament, much stronger than you are physically. Like it or not, you are at a physical disadvantage because you are a girl."_

_Ryoma grimaced; she didn't like it, but her grandmother had a point. She had seen Kawamura-Sempai's shots and could tell that some of them would be incredibly difficult for her to return with her current physical strength. Strength that was far above that of the average female player._

"_But that'd be like telling them to go easy on me because I'm a girl! That's still being sexist!" she countered._

_The coach sighed._

"_In a way yes, but after the announcement is made to the schools I think it will have an opposite effect."_

_Sensing Ryoma's confusion, she continued to explain.  
"__The other players will probably want to have a good game with the girl who was good enough to be put in the competition. I think they'll be harder on you; they'll be protecting their masculinity or something equally ridiculous"_

_Ryoma pondered this and found it make sense in an obscure way. The pig-headed ones may think she was mocking them if she wore shorts as she normally would (though she really did not see how that would matter since she would probably end up mocking them anyway)._

"_That still doesn't explain why I have to wear the girls' uniform!" she grumbled.  
Her grandmother sighed in exasperation._

"_Ryoma, remember this is only a trial. The officials are already breaking traditions by letting you enter the boys' tournament. I realise people would be more open minded in America, but this is Japan"_

"_You don't say"_

_A glare silenced the first year._

"_You have to remember that Japan is very traditional Ryoma, and in tennis, the boys have a different tournament from the girls. This is a trial experiment that flies in the face of tradition, and if you run around in shorts there wont even be a semblance of tradition left for the old coots that make the rules. Capise?"_

_Yes. The officials had their chauvinistic brains stuck in the olden days and would not know modern if it danced a Macarena naked wearing a Santa hat.  
"…__bunch of chauvinistic traditional old gits…"_

_Her grandmother graned in frustration after catching her mumble._

"_Why are you being so stubborn about this? The only thing different to the boys uniform is the skirt and design, and I know you have a few tennis skirts of your own"_

_Oh crap, she'd just had to ask didn't she?_

"…_it's too short! I saw one of those con-artists from yesterday leering at one of the regular girls because the skirt barley covered her ass during lunch! And besides, I _like _shorts!"_

_There was silence for several moments before her grandmother howled with laughter.  
Ryoma did her best to ignore her as she grumbled about treason._

* * *

…well, at least she didn't have to worry about it until she got a regular spot. And she could probably get away with wearing her cycling shorts underneath. Maybe she could even wear shorts during practice (unlikely - if the officials were so insistent, then the old bat would stick to the rules).

In any case, she was safe for now. She was also finding it amusing to have the others think she was a boy. It was actually to her advantage; if she could show her skills in the guise of a male, they'd probably take her much more seriously when they did find out she was a girl.

Either that, be pissing mad, or freak out, and going by the members of this club she suspected it would be the third option that won out.

In any case, this was something to be shared with her messaging companion; she only wished she could be there to see their reactions.

* * *

Ryoma rested the rickety old raquet on her sholder with a triumphant smirk as Arai collapsed in an exhausted heap on the othe side of the court.  
That would teach him not to mess with _her_ rackets again.

"You havent seen my raquets by any chance have you?" she asked in an innocently deadly manner.  
One of the con-artists who had given arai the raquet before the so-called match seemed to have an epiphany.

"Hey, its weird, but I remember seeing a bag in the old store-cupboard… let me go check!" he replied hurridley.

Ryoma fixed a level gaze on the sweating boy, before turning away and walking over to the gaggle of fist years as he hurried towards the clubroom.  
"Thanks for the warm up Arai-Sempai" she said as an after thought.

Horio and the other first years squaked their praises as she took a glug of water from one of the offere bottles.  
The con-artist came over with her raquets, with an overley enthusiastic yell of _'Found them!'_

As she fished around in the newly regained bag for her usual red raquet she felt a tap on her shoulder.  
Looking up from the bag and over her shoulder, she found herself face to face with the second year from the previous day.

'O_h crap, what was his name? It's something like that sounds like a fruit...'_

"Momo-Sempai!"

'_Momo! That was it! Thank you Horio. You were actually usefull for once…'_

"Hey Echizen, you want to take off from yesterday since the old lady interrupted our game?" he asked with an enthusiastic, cocky, and friendly grin.

After deciding he would be able to give her a real match (if Horio's blabber of the regulars true skill was anything to go by), she nodded in agreeement and followed him onto the court that she had just been_ 'playing'_ on with Arai.

"You can swerve first, since I asked for the match" Momo added taking his side of the court.

Ryoma pondered over wether she should youse her favorite swere before deciding it would help stop any more raquet-incidents. Catching sight of the badages on his ankle (and reccaling the old bat mentioning the injury the previous day), she decided that she would use her right hand for the time being - if he wasn't going to be playing at full strength then it was only fair that she should do the same.

When the first swerve landed, she felt severaly eyes widen in disbelief, followed by the murmurs. The group of regulars seemed to be even more interested than they had been moments previously.

'_D__o these people have nothing better to do? Like practice their own tennis?'_

"You can do a twist?!" her opponet gawped.

Ryoma snorted. Surley he wasn't that blind? She fired off another twist swerve before he had time to reply, and was mildly impressed when he managed to catch up befor it fully rose. However, that wouldn't be enough to return her twist swerve. His mumbling when the ball shot off in the wrong direction indicated he had also recognised that fact.

They continued to rally, and Ryoma noted that her shots with her right hand were being easily returned - with more ease than she was comfortable with. Maybe she had jumped the gun a bit with the right hand. After all, just because he had an ankle injury didn't mean it was impossible for him to run.

After some time, Momo seemed to catch the timing of her swerve and she dashed to the net. The impact was heavy on her raquet, and Ryoma understood what her grandmothe had meant by disadvantages. She knew her physical strength was above normal, but she didn't think she'd be able to hit that hard just yet - maybe if she started weight tarining…

The ball was returned once agin but she was already in place for it; the balled gently rose over the net, plopping to the ground.

"You can do a drop volley too…?!" her opponent complained, panting.

Ryoma surmised that his injury was playing up, and decided it would be best to get this over with as she adjusted her cap. After switching her raquet to her usual hand, she fished another ball from her pocket. Momo's eyes widened in realization.

"No way! You're a South-Pa-"  
"What's going on here?"

Ryoma tuned to the entrance to the courts to find yet another regular. The autorative atmosphere surrounding the brown-haired boy was a bit different though. The murmurs around her indicated this was the Captain…

'…S_hit. Why can't I remember any of their names?'_

"Free Practice lasts fifteen minuets - that ended ten minuets ago. Twenty laps."

Ryoma glared at Momo for getting her into trouble on her first proper day of club activities.  
The boy grinned with appropriate sheepishness.

* * *

Momoshiro gave his companion an exasperated look as they passed Arai for the third time. Ryoma had pulled his phone from her pocket almost immediately after starting their twenty lap punishment. He was amazed that he (actually a She) could twiddle with the electronic gadget, and manage to jog at their current pace at the same time.

He'd probably trip up over his own feet if he tried to do the same thing. He remembered seeing him fiddling eith the thing in-between, before and after practices too. It was like he never let go of the thing.

"Echizen, are you glued to that thing or something?" he aske the first year.

Ryoma did not stop the fiddling, but did manage a monosyllabic reply.  
"No."

Momo sighed to himself. The first year was obviously not the talkative type, but he couldn't stand the silence.  
Usually he was at the very least arguing with the stupid Viper, and the lack of even minimal noise was unsettling.

The problem was he had no idea as to how to strike conversation with his companion. According to Horio, Ryoma was just as unsociable in class.  
The only people he would associate with with any enthusiasm were the coach's grand daughter and that loud girl with the bunches.

"you have a scary handicap, dude" he informed his younger companion, moving past Arai once again.  
He hoped discussing common ground would stir up some sort of conversation.

Much to his surprise this earned a snort of laughter from the younger player. From there, the conversation was less forced - albeit almost onesided. Momoshiro would badger Ryoma with questions that would be answered with as little effort as possible as she seent yet anoter text message - to two recipients.

"You lived in america right? How long were you there fo- Oi! Watch out!"

As momo voiced his question, Ryoma's phone finally caused her down fall - literaly. One rock in particular stuck upwards from the path they were running along, unnoticed by Ryoma. As she fell forwards, an arm yanked itself around her waist moments before she came into contact with the earth.

'_Whoa, how much this guy weigh? Is he eating right?'_ Momoshiro asked himself, noting the first-year's lack of weight.  
After making sure Ryoma was standing firmly on the ground, he snatched the phone from her hands with an exasperated expression.

"It's because youre glued to this thing! How are you supposed to run and text at the same time?!" he berated his companion loudly, placing the phone in his own pocket to be returned once the laps had been completed.

Ryoma twitched in irritation.

* * *

Oshitari watched as his captain once agin gawped at his phone in horror.

"…Did what?! How is that even possible? Are the proletariats that stupid?!" he yelled to himself, before showing the message to his silent friend.

"This has gone too far Kabaji!! We need to put a stop to this! This is madness!!"  
'_yes, this is madness indeed'_ Oshitari thought to himself, watching Kabaji nodding vigorously in reply.

What on earth had happened to their captain? He never shouted in such an uncouth manner, if he shouted at all. Oshitari had gone through as many scenarios as he could think of, and found no verifiable reason for thes outbursts and phone-obsession other than some psychological illness. The stress had probably cracked him as it would have done to any normal person years ago.

But how on earth are you supposed to ask someone if they've gone loopy? Oshitari had some odd friends, but he had never had a crazy one.  
He was unsure of the exact protocol for the situation.

The other regulars were no use; Jirou had fallen asleep on the benches _again,_ Wakashi was watching atobe with the hopes of finding out how to over throw him (really, he was bordering on stalking!), Gakuto couldn't give to flying fish over Atobe's mental state, and Chotaro and Shishido were busy practicing.

Thus, Yushi Oshitari found himself heading for Coach Sakaki's office in the music building.  
If anyone would be able to find out if Atobe needed psychological help, it would be their coach.

Now he just had to make sure the man wasn't in another meeting…

* * *

"Well Tezuka? What do you think?" the coach asked him as they watched the courts from her office.  
Her question was mt with silence.

"Bear in mind, you don't have to add her because she passed the official requirements. That was just permission for playing in the team in general. Wether she joins the ranking matches is up to you" she added as an after thought.

Tezuka made no hurry to answer her; this was a delicat matter after all. The other first years may see it as unfair if hen entered the boy, correction, the girl into the Ranking Matches. No doubt some of the second and third years would be unhappy with the decision. Then again, he could hardly ignore his, no, her talent. It was obvious without the information from their coach that Ryoma had plenty of match experience against skilled players, something that wouldn't go amis in the upcoming matches.

More to the point, what would happen whne the rest of the club realised she was a girl? He could see the regulars accepting the information easily enough - for some reason Kikumaru instantly popped into mind - but he couldn't exactly ignore Arai's previous action.

"If youre worrying over her gender, I wouldn't bother. Ryoma can hold her own in a fight as well as tennis."  
"She prefers it?" he asked the coach in surprise.

"She dosen't give a damn either way, but she does beleive it will make the others take her seriously. All that being said, she's really just trying to avoid wearing the girls uniform and tennis skirts untill they become a requirement" the woman replied in frustration.

"Skirts?"

What did skirts have to do with this conversation? And since when were they a requirement?  
This was tennis, not one of those american pageant-things…

"The officials are insistent that the girls at least restrain themselves from wearing shorts - Ryoma calls them, and I quote, _'chauvinistic traditional old gits'_. She isn't fond of skirts, especially the one for the girls' regulars that she'll have to wear if she does well enough in the ranking matches."

Tezuka assumed this was meant in the sense that she would become a regular during her second year. After all, he hadn't decided if he was adding her to the ranking matches yet. Though thinking back to her match with Momoshiro, and the match with Arai, he could see nothing but the gain of a strong player despite his reservations…

* * *

"Gather up!" Tezuka called lodly.

Sensing the unusuall seriousness in the captains voice (he was frowning more), the club members dropped their raquets and immediately gathered in front of the club officials. Their coach stepped forwarfd with an official-looking piece of paper in her hand.

Those near the front - the current regular players- caught sight of the official logo for the national tournament and understood that the letter came from the higher ups in charge of the entire competition.

"As you know, the official tournaments leading to nationals are two weeks away from us," their coach began, fixing her gaze on the group of students.

"I don't think I need to go over the rules, but I will be posting them on the clubroom notice board. The reason I've had Tezuka call you up like this is because this years national tournament is going to be slightly different."

She received several looks from all but one first year.

"What does that mean? Is there a going to be change in the rules or setup?" a regular with brown hair and gentle tempermeant asked.  
"I'm getting there Kawamura" she informed him, calming him slightly.

"I could read out this letter but its full of technical mumbo-jumbo so I'll give you the long and the short of it; the officials have been given budget cuts due to the credit crunch, so the girls' tournament has been cancelled due to lack of interest. However, a small number of girls who have met with the officials standards will be participating in the boy's tournament instead."

There was silence for a few moments before the courts exploded with questions, yells, and other forms of interest.  
"Quiet!" Tezuka yelled, and calm returned to the tennis courts.

"As far as I have been able to discern, only forty girls have been entered into the boys teams, and only around eleven actually managed to get a regular positiont; One being Rikkai's captain, and a pair of twins from Jyosei Shounan.

"That's only three… Where are the other eight from?" Arai noted.  
"Only forty? That's hardly any!" Momo noted, sounding somewhat put-out.  
"Is this only for this year? I thought Rikkai's captain was a girl last year too…" Fuji asked curiously.  
"Uwah! Chibikos? Seriously?!"  
"This was not considered in my calculations, but should generate some interesting data…"  
"Eiji! Inui! Theyre not to goggled at like zoo animals! Coach Ryuzaki, is this really a good idea? some of the players are…"

"Quiet!" the captain yelled with double the force.  
"There's only thirty because of the standards put in place by the officials - they wanted to be certain those entering would be able to keep up." the old woman continued.

"Wheter they like it or not , you boys have a physical advantage. The officials are being very strict with the healt and safety red-tape too, so you don't need to worry too much Oishi" Ryuzaki informed them, answering momo's question along with that of the vice- captain's.

"In answer to Fuji's question, this is not the first time this has happened, but this set up is being used as a trial for a more permenant basis; if it goes well, it may become a common sight for girls who meet the official's requiremnts to play in the boys tournament. Clubs may even be merged permanently."

Fuji nodded, giving a curious yet unseen glance to one of the first-years at the back of the crowd.  
Ryoma paid no attention - her mind was on a cat toy she was planning on buying for Karupin.

"Wow! So the Chibikos are really good? I wanna play one! I wanna play one!"  
"Eiji!"  
"He has a point though Oishi..." Fuji defended his classmate.  
"Fuji is right; the officals wouldn't have let any old girl join the competition. Theres a ninety-nine percent probability that they have considerable skill" Inui added.

Ryoma listed to this interaction with an almost unnoticeable, but repetitive, tick in her right eye. Oishi was right! She wasn't some sort of zoo animal! She began to wonder if objections would have been better than this… excitement. Maybe her mother was right; it wasn't that her father was more perverted than other men, he was just made no effort to hide it like most others.

If she didn't want to play the strongest players she could, she wouldn't be facing the possibility of that pathetic excuse for a skirt in this hive of closet-perverts.

"Coach Ryuzaki, what about the other eight? You didn't tell us which teams they play for…" Arai reminded the old woman.

Ryoma tensed up; was she going to tell them? Not that she was specifically hiding her gender, she just thought it would have been amusing to turn up to the first match in that skirt and watch their reactions. The other first-years wouldn't say anything - she had informed Horio and Tomoka of her decision. The gossipers had told the rest of the year, and the entire year group was seemingly supportive of the whole thing.

But her grandmother…

"I'll let you try and guess, it wouldn't be any fun if I gave you all of them would it?"  
'S_cratch that. The old bat is enjoying this just as much as me'_

* * *

Marui wondered which god he had insulted to earn himself such a bad week; two detentions, extra maths homework, and a draft essay on social class for sociology, comparing the Marxist and weberian theories no less.

To add insult to injury, Snada had been in a fould mood all day because their captain had been admitted to the hospital after collapsing at her job in the sports shop. In otherwords, he was talking it out on them through torturous training regimes. Even Renji, who had been drafted to compose said training scheemes, was looking none too pleased with the Spartan training their vice-captain was putting them through.

Stupid Hypocrite! He shouldn't have made the damn training schedules so hard should he?!

He blew another bubble in irritation, collapsing on one of the benches that occupied the clubroom, pulling out his phone, finally able to read the message Ryoma had sent him in the middle of their run.

_- - -  
__**From: **__-R.E__·__Tennis01-  
__**To: **__.:Awesome-Prowess:./.:Candy___Pop:.  
__**Subject: **__Confirmation of a Sex-Change_

_______To update day two of my middle school life, due to incurable idiocy and the fact I cant be bothere to clarify, most of my club members think I'm a boy.  
Just thought you'd like to know.  
- - -_

Marui decided to ask his father to call his uncle and make sure Ryoma wasn't suffering fom some sort of illnes that had caused her to turn into an idiot.  
His uncle Nanjiro was far from sane, he hardly saw the man but he had to be if his mother was anything to go by; they were twins after all.  
Maybe this was some sort of genetic illnes? The one that had Ryoga of to god knows where evry other week?

Maybe he should get himself tested to be on the safe side. This was the only reason he could think of someone to allow such a misunderstanding as mistaking someones gender to go unqualified. Then again, this_ was_ Ryoma.

She was probably enjoying this, and that old coach-granny of hers was probably having a whale of a time watching her regulars question their orientation. His family members were nothing if not twisted; he should know, he had noticed the same qualities in himself when he had nothing to occupy his time.

He only wished he could twist his way out of Sanada's spartan training.

* * *

Ryoma seated herself on one of the benches in the clubroom. She had finally succeeded in disentangling herself from the clutches af Kikumaru and Momoshiro. For some reason the two ahd taken a liking to her; it wouldn't be so bad if it were not for the suffocating hugs they were so resistant on.

"I see you finnaly managed top run away" Ryoma looked tp her right to find another of her seniors seated next to her, replacing his raquet in his bag.  
She nodded in reply, but still felt nervous. He hadn't let down that smile once.

"Can I ask something?" he asked.  
"Go ahead" she replied.

Fishing a water bottle from her own bag, she wondered what a third year could possibly want to ask her.  
It wasn't like they mingled much…

She couldn't even remember this guys name.

"Why did you join this club?"

Ryoma snapped her eyes to meet his, they were still narrow and he still smiled, but her instincts were screaming that this guy knew far more than he let on.  
She was sure he didn't mean the tennis club, but they _Boy's_ tennis club.

Something told her getting on this guy's bad side was to be avoided at all costs.

"Family tradition" she replied to his question carefully.

She wasn't exactly lying; her father had been insistent that she attend the middle school he and her brother had attended, with her grandmother as a coach (also a former student). Even Sakuno had joined the tennis team, even if it was the girls one. It just hadn't been named an actual tradition yet.

The third year made a noise akin to understanding - or at least, understanding what little she had told him.

"You seem fairly close to Coach Ryuzaki's granddaughter, are you dating?" another third year asked, seemingly appearing from nowhere.

Ryoma near fell off the bench from the shock, not succeeding to supress her yelp of surprise. Several other ears pricked up at the 'D' word, and Ryoma found a new conversation to hold with Sakuno; gossip is not limited to the changing rooms of the girls tennis club. The boys club rival the gossipiest of female clubrooms.

"My cousin" she answered Inui's question, after recovering from the surprise and suppressing a roll of her eyes.

There were several outraged crys and Ryoma found herself wishing for earplugs.  
_'How?'_ was the most common proclamation, and she proceeded to answer their question.

"Sakuno's dad is my mother's brother."  
"So Coach Ryuzaki is your grandmother? Interesting…" the tall glases-wearer began scribbling in a notebook that looked new.

Ryoma hoped it wasn't her own personal one like the other regulars seemed to have gained.  
She stood up and replaced her raquety in her bag, hoisting it over her left shoulder as she headed towards the door.

"Echizen, where are you going? You need to shower! You've been playing a lot and all that sweat will be dirty…" her vice-captain protested.

Oh yes, that would go down swimmingly, getting into the showers with a bunch of guys. Or most likely not.  
Ryoma could care less about changing in front of them (not that she did) but showering drew an obvious line.

"I don't like communal showers. I'm going straight home anyway; a little sweat wont kill me before I get there. You worry too much Oishi-Sempai." she replied calmly, before walking out of the clubroom and closing the door behind her, ignoring the worrier's protests.

* * *

**_I hate the college computers. I had this all set up nicely and my session timed out before I could save it.  
I had to re-do it on my laptop, and my spell-check isn't so wonderful._**

**_Hoped you liked.  
Nat.  
xxx _**


	3. Chapter III: Stalking 101 & War Cries

**THE WOES OF INTER-GENDER TENNIS**

**CHAPTER III**

**STALKING 101 & DECLARATIONS OF WAR

* * *

**

"Echizen that was awesome! You beat the viper! I cant believe you hit the Snake!" an excited Momo exclaimed, suffocating the first year.

'_He'd better not move his hand's or someone'll get a kick in the nuts…'_ Ryoma thought to herself, barley noting the senior students grasp on her shoulders.

She had quickly learned that ignoring these random moments of suffocation was the best way to get through them; the more she protested the more she would be suffocated. Upon release (thankfully without any nut cracking), she immediately pulled her phone from her pocket, reply the message she had received from Sakuno.

"Are you ever more than five inches away from that thing?" Momoshiro asked, an exasperated look on his face as he watched his kouhai furiously prodding the letter buttons with her thumbs.

"No" was the short, blunt reply.

Momoshiro fought the urge to pull on his short hair in frustration. He was already aware that the boy next to him was distinctively impaired with conversation, but that phone did nothing to improve his attempts to befriend the boy!

He stuffed some rice from his lunchbox into his mouth as he looked over the younger player's shoulder, peering at the username the message was intended for.

- - -  
_**From: **_.:Candy_Pop:.  
_**To: **_-R.E·Tennis01  
_**Subject: **__Re; Weekend._

_The vice has gone crazy since our captain was admitted to the hospital; we have a practice match against a school from Chiba, so I can't make it this weekend.  
Hurry up and win the ranking-matches already.  
__:P_

"Who's Candy Pop?" he asked, spraying several grains of rice.

Ryoma dodged the grains with an expression of revulsion.

"None of your business Momo-Sempai" she replied plainly, closing down her phone screen.

The message had left her disgruntled; reading between the lines Bunta had gone and got himself into yet another detention.

"Don't you have a match with Arai-sempai at 1:30?" she asked, thinking of her own matches that afternoon. Momoshiro's eyes stared at her blankly before widening in horror.  
"Ack! I completely forgot! It's nearly 1:00! See you later Echizen!" he yelled, springing from his seat on the ground and dashing of in the direction of the tennis courts.

Ryoma shook her head in disbelief, picking up the abandoned lunch box and digging her chopsticks into it; waste not want not and all that...

* * *

"Atobe, is everything alright?"

Atobe looked at his coach in perplexity; what was with all the sudden conversation from the man? Usually it was only a few pointers on ball control, or stating the need to improve footwork. Who was this man and what had he done with his coach? Was he an alien?

"I'm afraid I don't understand the question, Coach Sakaki…"

Atobe felt like running from the man's office when he began to fidget, thumbing some of the music sheets scattered on his desk absently.

"There's nothing bothering you? No problems at home? Schoolwork? It wouldn't be a strange thing for stress to build up given the expectations people have of you" the man said after some thought.

What in the name of Queen Elizabeth's bloomers was this man talking about? His home life was fine; his parents were running off on their thirteenth second honeymoon, his grandfather was still doddering around complaining about his war injuries, and his grandmother was still suing every complainer that wormed out of the wood work.

Problems at school were preposterous, he snorted at the very thought. To be honest, the only problem he was having was the fact his coach appeared to have been kidnapped by aliens and replaced with one of their cohorts.

"No sir, everything is perfectly fine. Why do you ask? I don't recall showing any signs of any…" he replied.

Atobe thought it best to leave the aliens out of the conversation until he had specific proof, like DNA (it could easily be obtained through trickery).

"Well, you've been spending a lot of time texting, and your team-mates were concerned. As far as I'm aware, you've never used the texting facility before"

'_You mean Oshitari was concerned. Kabaji knows better, Gakuto doesn't bother, all Wakashi cares about is that Gekoujou crap, Shishido and Chotaro have no time for anyone but each other, and all Jirou does is sleep'_ Atobe thought himself, snorting at the idea.

"That's what this is about? That's it? Good lord, is Yushi that paranoid I'm going to go insane before nationals?"

"You know about that?" the coach asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

Atobe suppressed the urge to call the National Guard, or the RAF (NASA would probably be better equipped to handle aliens, but he couldn't _stand_ Americans.)

"Sir, I don't mean any offence, but frankly the regulars of this team are less than normal; it should be an easilya justifiable conclusion that the leader would eventually go insane, though I think it's more likely Yushi would loose his marbles first" Atobe replied frankly.

A vibrating buzz from his pocket interrupted the conversation. Atobe quickly dropped his attention from his coach, replacing it on the phone.

_**From: **_-R.E·Tennis01-  
_**To: **_.:Awesome-Prowess:.  
_**Subject:**_Pssshhh! Powned!

_Yo, Monkey King!  
__I beat the Snake-sempai in the rankings, I just have to play Glasses-sempai tomorrow and I'm a shoe in for the regulars._

_Oh, and Bunta got detention again - he really needs to stop cursing in Latin so much - so he can't make it.  
__That means you'd better show up or I'll hunt you down and kill you with a blunt spoon._

Atobe could help the smugness that overwhelmed him, and felt his lips start smirking as he read the message - it was his more refined version of a happy dance. Sakaki once again raised an eyebrow.

"Good… it would have been most unseemly if one of my associates had lost to a Snake-man…" he mumbled to himself

He began prodding the buttons on his phone top slowly form new words. He believed he was gaining remarkable proficiency at this _'texting'_ now.

Sakaki was still especially confused - he had never seen the Atobe-version of pride pertaining to anything but himself before - but he decided there was nothing to worry about.

Maybe Atobe was right about Yushi loosing his marbles…

* * *

Ryoma passed through the ranking matches with comparative ease, despite a few potholes from the two regular members she had played against. Those matches had been a bit more complicated, but nevertheless she remained the undefeated champion of block D, and earned her position as a Seigaku regular.

"Ryoma!"

Ryoma turned to find their coach waving her over to speak, and she dropped the sweeping brush.

"These are the order forms for the uniforms. Fill them in and take them down to Mitsumaru sports. You know where it is, right?" her grandmother informed her when she jogged over, taking the pieces of paper from her hand.

"No…" Ryoma grumbled, glaring at the order form for the skirt.

It was beginning to dawn on her that she could not escape the monstrosity. Maybe she could delay things until the tournaments began with a claim of delay in the creation of the uniform. Especially if it meant she had to wear that hideous green thing too.

"Get Sakuno to show you then" her grandmother instructed, moving off to yell at some second years playing catch with the tennis balls they were supposed to be clearing up.

Ryoma had only just stuffed the order forms into her pocket when she was accosted by the overly excitable third year - and her new team-mate - known as Eiji Kikumaru.

"Ochibi! Let's go! Taka's treating us to Sushi! Sushi!" he exclaimed loudly, suffocating her further.

Oishi did his best to rescue her, but the only solution was proved to be in agreeing to join them for the celebratory sushi outing (though why Inui-Sempai was joining was anyone's guess since he'd had his ass whooped out of the regulars).

"Hey, Echizen, what's your family like?" Momoshiro asked as they exited the school building.  
"They're… family-like? What else would they be like?" she replied, doing her best to dodge the question.

She didn't want to get into her family if she could avoid it. She had a sinking feeling Kikumaru and Momo - she suspected Fuji too - would be giddy with joy when they learned her father's identity, and she wanted to avoid that for as long as possible.

"That's not what I mean! I mean, do you have any siblings? I know the old lady is your granny but that's it…" he complained at her un-informative answer.  
"I have an older brother" she replied blankly, mind occupied elsewhere; could she fake an emergency with her phone and escape the pandemonium?

"Really what's his name? What's he like?" Kikumaru asked.

Ryoma could tell he was exercising restraint in avoiding their spew of questions waiting to burst from him. Was this something all the new regulars underwent or did they just enjoy pissing her off? Because if so, she hoped they were having a lot of fun…

"Ryoga. He's annoying" she answered with as little effort as possible.

Whilst her brother was seemingly less childish than their father, he had somehow inherited his perverted steak to make up for that fact. He was also equally insistent on making her wear skirts and other more feminine clothing articles.

"How old is he?" Kawamura asked her, much calmer than some of his other companions.  
"Eighteen, but he's Nineteen this year"  
"What about-"

Kikumaru's next question was cut of by the annoying frog ring tone and for once, Ryoma couldn't have been happier for the distraction the awful noise caused. Clicking the accept call button, she placed the phone next to her ear.

"What do you want Monkey King?"

The regulars accompanying her watched in undisguised interest as Ryoma moved the phone from her ear to avoid bursting her eardrums from the caller's loud protests. After a few moments, she sensed he had calmed down, and resumed conversation.

"You'd better have a good reason for calling Monkey King, you know I hate answering… No, I don't know how he got detention this time, but I'll bet anything he swore at his Latin teacher again… What? Shinjuku? Are you insane? That's two districts away! No, I don't care about what your coach thinks Monkey King… Really? I'm surprised he didn't go crazy years ago to be honest…"

"Inui-Sempai, who's he talking to?" Momoshiro asked the older boy, who was furiously scribbling in another of his notebooks.

"It could be a family member, but judging by the banter… probably a close friend that does not attend this school, likely one in a different district…" he replied glancing over what he had written in his notebook.

"How sure are you on that?" Fuji asked a smile on his face as usual.  
"…twenty-seven and a half percent. I have insufficient data."

Fuji nodded, and they turned their attention back to the first year, still arguing with the caller.

"I hate horrors! Of course it's a lie Monkey King! I'm not going to Shinjuku! Well, yeah, I'd kill to see it but that's no reason to… You're bringing what where? Hell no! I'm not getting in that thing! You hear me Monkey King? I don't have- hello? Monkey King?"

Ryoma removed the phone from her ear and stared at it in horror. He had hung up on her! Now she'd have to go find something suitable for a movie premier before the monkey king sent out search parties! She didn't even date, what the hell was she supposed to wear to a movie premier? Curse that stupid monkey king and his money!

Roma looked at the phone for a long time, before grumbling several choice swear-words learned form her cousin and turning to her new team-mates.

"Err… I don't think I can go to this sushi-thing… I have to… The Monkey King…"

Ryoma took one look at the horrifyingly inquisitive faces and instantly made a decision.

"Yeah, you're better off not knowing… Bye!" she waved nonchalantly before turning on her heel and sprinting down the road, punching Sakuno's number into her phone as she did so.

"…Well, I'm confused" Momo stated, backed up with a nod each from Kikumaru and Kawamura.  
"I think… Echizen was just forced into a date…" Fuji noted, in something akin to surprised amusement.

"What?" Kikumaru yelled.  
"To where?" Momo asked, in equal shock to his senior.

"A horror film I believe" Inui stated, back to scribbling in his notebook.  
Kawamura prudently moved away from him when he began mumbling to himself.

Of course, to the third years and lone second year, this left only one possible course of action.

* * *

Marui was once again trapped in his hellish Latin class when he received another text from Ryoma. Once again, he did his best to keep the message hidden, and once again he failed miserably upon viewing he contents of the message.

_**From: **_-R.E·Tennis01-  
_**To: **_.:Candy_Pop:.  
_**Subject:**_I whooped ass.

_Snake-sempai kicked out Glasses-sempai after I beat their asses.  
__My only problem now is the skirt._

"Is lucrum a positus in tennis team? Splendens!"

Silence reigned throughout the room; Marui could feel the teacher glaring at him again.

"Crap! I mean… err…Is fabula est splendens! Is has ampulens cruor… Quod formica puella est… funnny…"

A piece of chalk once again hit his forehead with significant force.

"Ego conor is opes ego have detention iterum?" he asked with a resigned slump of his shoulders. The teacher simply glared at him before giving an affirmative:

"Sic."

"…vos _baro_" jackal snickered, quietly enough to avoid the teacher's notice.

Marui glared at him but said nothing, instead choosing to burry his head in the above he was supposed to be reading.

* * *

Four boys poked their heads around the corner of their regulars sports supply store. Their attention was rooted on the two girls that had just exited the store with the loud pigtailed girl. Said girl had left quickly, stating babysitting.

They watched as Ryoma and Sakuno moved to the burger restaurant next door. They hurriedly pulled on their disguises (mainly hats and scarves to hide their hair and faces) and quickly took their places in a nearby table.

"I can't believe you going to see it! The reviews were all so good…"  
"Sakuno you hate horrors"  
"Yeah, but it's a romantic horror!"  
"There's no such thing as a romantic horror" Ryoma snorted around a mouthful of a Chicken Burger.

"Fuji-sempai, what are they talking about?" Momo asked the smiling third year seated next to him.

"I think it's the new vampire film that came out… I can't remember the name though…" he frowned, eyes opening narrowly in frustration.

"I didn't know Ochibi liked horror films nya!" Kikumaru hushed excitedly.

"According to my data, Echizen prefers horror films twenty three percent more than any other genre"

Kawamura, Kikumaru and Momo almost fell of the chair from the fright the third year gave them. Honestly, it was worrying that his stalking proficiency had reached such a level.

"Don't do that!" they hissed angrily, before turning back to the two first years.

"Shut up! Didn't you need help getting something to wear?" Sakuno asked pointedly.

Ryoma grumbled around a mouthful of her Chicken Burger. She was in a disgruntled mood since the cheeseburgers had all be wiped out earlier. Chicken Burgers weren't bad, but she'd rather have her usual two double Cheeses. Sakuno had a point; it was a fact that she would be laughed out of Tokyo by the stupid Monkey King if she showed up in anything less than suitable.

Pity she didn't have a 'film-premier' section in her wardrobe. If she did, she wouldn't have to worry about the matter in the first place (frankly, it was a miracle she had enough clothes to even need a wardrobe).

"Something to wear?" Kikumaru frowned in confusion.

"It must be a date if clothing is an issue; given Echizen's personality I doubt he has anything that could be classed as date-appropriate clothing, thus the meeting with his cousin" Inui stated, flicking through the pages of his notebook.

Kikumaru angled his head over his shoulder to catch a glimpse only to be met with the green cover.

"This is so weird… and depressing" Momoshiro stated.

"How so?" Kawamura asked, not following his junior's train of thought in the slightest.  
"Come on, Echizen screams asexual, but he's already gotten a date! I haven't had one yet and my junior is getting ahead of me!"

"You haven't had even one?" Kikumaru asked in surprise.  
Momo shook his head, eyes still fixed on the two first years. Kikumaru patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"You're right; that is depressing" he agreed, also turning back to the two freshmen.

"I guess i can just go in my jeans…"  
"You can't do that Ryoma! You have to make an impression on him!"  
"Who says I want to make an impression on the Monkey King?"

Sakuno gained an unusually triumphant smirk, reminding the watchers of the smiling third year accompanying them. Momo and Kikumaru gave the third year a suspicious look as Inui scribbled in his notebook.

'_Are they related?'  
_"You aren't related to Fuji-Sempai are you?" Ryoma asked.

The viewers - excluding Fuji himself - froze as Ryoma almost plucked the words out of their thoughts.

'_Is he psychic?'_

"Not that I'm aware of - and if you aren't trying to make an impression on him, why did you ask for my help?" Sakuno asked in a frustrated tone.  
"Because I refuse to be beaten by that pompous Primate Lord!"  
"Whatever, I still say your'e crushing on the guy!"

"Hey, Sakuno said _'guy'_ didn't she?" Momo asked his companions.

The rest of the regulars nodded with seemingly puzzled (Inui and Fuji were not truly puzzled, after all) expressions.

"Does that mean Echizen is… well… Gay?"  
"…that might not be an incorrect hypothesis" Inui agreed.  
"Based on what data?" Kikumaru demanded.

"The discussion of clothing over a date with an unknown male, and his friendly relations only pertaining to females and to a lesser degree the members of the tennis club. He has close relationships with his family despite distance or appearances, but that seems to be it. He has also been seen blushing around the male members of his class" Inui stated robotically.

He decided it was Ryoma's decision if she wished to correct her team-mates over the matter of her gender. It wasn't like she was doing anything deliberate to hide it - the first years had agreed to keep quiet somewhat subconsciously after all.

His companions, even Fuji to an extent, were somewhat worried over the detail of information he had acquired.

"Inui-sempai, did you stalk him or something?" Momo asked  
"I prefer to think of it as intensive covert data collection"

* * *

"Take that back!" Ryoma demanded with a horrified expression.  
"No!" Sakuno stuck her tongue out at her companion tauntingly.

Ryoma glared at her cousin.

"Take it back Sakuno, or I'll tell the old bat you've been sneaking out on Fridays to see-"  
"So you don't want my help?" Sakuno asked, frowning

The observing regulars watched with avid fascination as their newest member immediately froze - pondering her (to Momo, Kikumaru, and Kawamura in any case) options.

"…I hate you, you know that? I absolutely hate you! Come on lets go get this over with!" Ryoma growled in defeat, throwing down the remains of her chicken burger and picking up her tennis bag.

Sakuno sighed and followed her, heading for the exit.

* * *

The regulars waited outside Sakuno's house with strained patience, anticipating the exit of their newest and youngest member.

Thankfully their near hour of waiting was complete - as the door opened and voices were heard from Sakuno's front porch.

"Dad said you and the old bat are invited over for dinner on Friday - you'd better show or it'll be weeks before we have another Japanese meal" Ryoma complained.

"I got it, I got it. Hurry up and go to your date" Sakuno replied cheerily.  
"It's not a date!" her cousin protested hotly, walking down the garden path.

The regulars watched as Ryoma walked in the opposite direction from their hiding place for several moments, Kikumaru seemed about to follow the unintentionally hidden girl but was stopped by Fuji's arm.

"I think we should let Ryoma have his privacy - if it really is a date, it's not our place to spy on him" he stated in a voice which left little room for argument.

Momo mimicked Kikumaru's pout, but they obeyed their senior; there was childish and there was downright stupid. Defying Shusuke Fuji was a very stupid thing.

Two hours after her wardrobe meeting with Sakuno - which turned out to be pointless since she wound up in jeans and a t-shirt anyway - Ryoma was standing in the lobby of what looked more like an opera theatre than a cinema theatre (the seats used while waiting for even the previews of a film to start were not supposed to be that comfortable).

She had met up with Keigo outside the local bowling alley - meeting Hyotei's own female regular at the same time. She seemed nice, though also somewhat excitable when not suffering from narcolepsy.

After she had disappeared with the rest of the apparently stunned Hyotei regulars, Ryoma had demanded compensation for being forced to the stupid preview (that was her public opinion - internally, she held a victory dance and thanked god for giving her a well-connected friend) in the form of food.

The monkey king had at least had the sense to get Japanese take-out. Beef Okonomiyaki - a thousand times better than those pathetic flatbreads in America that always had too much sugar in.

after being fed decent food, and Ryoma had grudgingly forgiven him into forcing her away from more tennis practice, they had driven from to the cinema (Ryoma had unfortunately been unable to escape the horror that was Keigo's limousine).

And so, we arrive at the current scenario; Ryoma fiddling with a phone other than her own whilst Keigo busied himself with the ticket business (was he buying them? Ryoma had no clue how preview things worked…).

Ryoma was somewhat uncomfortable with letting him pay, but she was certain that if purchase was necessary she wouldn't be able to afford the tickets, so she comforted herself with the agreement that she would buy the popcorn.

Along with a little sadistic payback for (willingly) dragging her here in the first place.

Keigo gave his companion a _'what-crack-are-you-smoking-now?'_ look as she cackled to herself after buying the popcorn, but decided he didn't want to know what she was plotting. If it involved him, he would no doubt find out eventually, but if it did not then he was keeping his nose out.

Bad things happened to those who were to nosy about Ryoma's plotting. He and Bunta still had scars from the last time they tried to interfere (two on his back, one on his right calf, three on his left shoulder), and he did not want to receive anymore.

* * *

_**Handy Latin Translator!**_  
"_**Is lucrum a positus in tennis team? Splendens!"  
**_ "_**she got on the tennis team? Awesome!"**_

"_**Is fabula est splendens! Is has ampulens cruor… Quod formica puella est… funnny…"  
**_ "_**this story is great! It has loads of blood… and the girl is… funny…"**_

"_**ego conor is opes ego have detention iterum?"  
**_ "_**I guess this means I have detention again?"**_

'_**Sic'  
**_ '_**yes'**_

"…_**vos baro"  
**_ "…_**you idiot"**_


	4. Chapter IV: Ding! Ding! Ding! A Winner!

**THE WOES OF INTER-GENDER TENNIS**

**CHAPTER IV**

**DING-DING-DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!

* * *

**

Two weeks after the outing to the (amazingly gory) horror film with Keigo, Ryoma awoke with one of the worst stomach-aches she had experienced in her short life.

This was an irritation given it was a day before the district tournaments started, and a stomach ache could have a disastrous affect on her performance should it last that long.

Emerging from her shower with a unnaturally gloomy morning attitude (unnatural in comparison to her usual one) and one hand covering her lower abdomen, earned her a strange horrified look from her father

Her mother gave her a pitying look. She then proceeded to hand her two of their larger Aspirin tablets, a glass of water, before throwing out the pancakes and replacing them with Japanese food. Not one to tempt good fortune or question maternal psychic abilities, Ryoma eagerly downed all three.

Upon leaving the house Momoshiro, who had taken to picking her up on his bike in the mornings, took one look at her face and decided it would be best to keep the verbal vomit to a minimum this morning.

To Ryoma's eternal gratitude, he simply gave her a cheery greeting as she climbed onto the back of his bike, before heading towards the school in silence.

* * *

_"OLD HAG! DO NOT LET RYOMA GO TO PRACTICE TODAY! SHE'LL KILL EVERYONE IF SHES ANYTHING LIKE RINKO IS WHEN SHE-"_

"Ryuzaki-Sensei, can I go over one of these formulas with you before registration? I don't really understand the negatives in it…"

Sumire looked up from the unintelligible phone call almost eagerly;one of her students asked, holding up the questions from the previous day.

"Call you back later Nanjiro, young minds to nurture and all that jazz" Sumire informed the crazed man, lowering the phone onto its holder.  
_"NO! OLD HAG DON'T YOU DARE HANG UP ON ME! RYOM-"_

"Um… I can come back later Ryuzaki-sensei. He sounded kind of worried…" her student informed her tentatively, still giving the phone a wary look.  
"Ignore him; he's just a crazy old monk. Now what seems to be the problem?"

* * *

"If you miss one of the cones, then this is what will be waiting for you" Inui grinned, holding up a pitcher of red… Was that _moving?_

Ryoma's already churning guts began to curdle at the sight of the red… substance.  
'_Holy crap on a cracker! What the hell is that shit?'_

"What the hell is that Inui?" Kikumaru yelled, moving away from the third year to hide behind his doubles partner. Said doubles partner was giving the red liquid (the word was for reference purposes only) a similarly horrified look.

"It's a health juice I made; I call it Penal-Tea!" Inui replied with horrifying enthusiasm.

If the penalty itself had been so horrifying, Ryoma might have cracked a smile at the pun.

"I don't want to drink that…" Momoshiro whimpered,  
"Really? I think it looks quite tasty…" Fuji smiled.

Ryoma shuddered; there was no way in hell she was going to drink that, her stomach was feeling bad enough as it was. She was certain that the horrifying concoction would only serve to make matters worse.

With this thought in mind, she put her all into distinguishing the different coloured lines on the balls being swerved towards her.

"Red, blue, blu-"  
"Miss!"

There was a howl of horror as Oishi near flew past her own court and towards the sinks. Ryoma squashed her panic as best she could and concentrated on her own balls.

"Blue, yellow, blu-"  
"Miss!"  
"YEEEEAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHKKKKKK! DISGUSTING!"

Kawamura followed Oishi out of the practice court and towards the sinks with equal speed.

As she increased her concentration on her own hitting, Ryoma found herself wondering if her father and brother had suffered similar experiences when they attended the school. It would explain some of the _'don't-want-to-talk-about-it' _looks she had received when asking why the found her grandmother's training methods to be so scary.

"Yellow, red, re-"

The next to go was Kaidoh. At first, he seemed to have some resistance to the vile liquid, but eventually even he was forced to dash off the courts. The remaining regulars paled - particularly Ryoma.

"Yellow, red yellow blu-"  
"Miss! You did that on purpose didn't you Fuji?"

Several heads stared at Fuji in horror as he nodded in agreement, taking the glass of red horror from Inui and swallowing it with ease.

"This is really good Inui, I'd definitely recommend it! He said smiling.

This finally settled the growing belief that it was unfit for human consumption since Ryoma had, having once seen the contents of Fuji's lunch box, quickly realized the third year either had malfunctioning taste buds or was simply not human.

New resolve was in her swings as she hit blue, red, and yellow outlined balls back to Inui. This seemed to have gathered a crowd of amazement, but Ryoma did not really concern herself with the crowd, her focus was on avoiding the vile drink.

Unfortunately the weights that had been added as a handicap had been draining her of her stamina and accuracy (which was really the point of the exercise), and one mistake was all it took her to follow Oishi Kawamura and Kaidoh to the sinks.

After some time they recovered but Ryoma's assumption that the gruesome concoction would worsen her already-painful-despite-the-800ml-aspirin-dose stomach-ache was very much correct.

It was for an agonizing twenty minuets that she stumbled around the courts barley managing what should have been easy shots (well, for her). Fuji was the first to notice and thus the first to worry.

"Echizen, are you alright? That should have been an easy shot for you" he frowned, coming over to her side of the court where she sat panting from the forced effort.

Ryoma knew better than to lie to Fuji - one of the other third years had done that and the results had included public humiliation via Fuji's camera and the school newspaper.

"Not really, my stomachs been killing me all day and that juice of Inui's turned my insides into some sort of civil war…" she grumbled reluctantly.

Fuji's eyes opened into a displeased look.  
"Why didn't you say something earlier then? The district tournament begins tomorrow…" he reprimanded.

Ryoma glared at him in a manner that told him that any kind of babying would be most unwelcome.

"Fine, I'll stop, but you're going home," he instructed, taking on the sempai voice Ryoma had only seen used by Kaidoh when Horio grated on his nerves.

Ryoma could easily have ignored him but having never heard Fuji use that voice before, she did not want to tempt some sort of horrendous fate (like alien invasion). Glaring at anyone who had been watching her interaction with Fuji, she headed for the clubroom as Fuji informed Tezuka of the matter.

Fuji meanwhile was watching on in amusement as Tezuka reprimanded Inui for his hazardous mixing of non-complimentary ingredients. Even he had found the drink to have a somewhat exceedingly spicy taste, but the refreshing feeling after had countered the taste. Not to mention he had always had a strong stomach.

"Inui, while your juices are a good motivation for the regulars to finish their exercises, they are no longer useful if they render the team useless," Tezuka reprimanded blankly.  
"Ryoma's symptoms were evident before consumption occurred though..."  
"All the more reason you shouldn't have given her the stuff" Fuji added, smiling at Tezuka slight narrowing of the eyes.

"In any case, she can barley stand up now. If this happens again, I will ban those juices Inui. What would have happened if this was an actual tournament?" Tezuka frowned, clearly not surprised Fuji and Inui were aware of their new rookie was a girl.

"That makes no sense… even if it interacted with other symptoms there shouldn't have been such and adverse side effect. If anything it should have aided in-"  
"GET OUT MOMO-SEMPAI!"

Fuji's eyes snapped open, Inui scribbled furiously in his ever-present notebook, and Tezuka rubbed his temples in frustration.

* * *

Ryoma had removed her tennis shirt and shorts (she was to pick up her uniform later that day) when the door was opened by her concerned friend.

"Echizen are you alright? I heard Fuji-sempai saying you were going home early so I…" his jaw dropped at the sight of the vest and cycling shorts she wore under her normal tennis gear.

Once again, Ryoma grudgingly thanked her father's seemingly useless ingenuity for saving her from total embarrassment.

Unfortunately, for Momoshiro, Ryoma was in a very bad mood. Her stomach was killing her twice as much as it had been five minuets ago for some reason, and while her modesty had been somewhat saved, she was a little underdressed to be giving explanations.

"GET OUT MOMO-SEMPAI!" She yelled with as much force as her agonizingly painful stomach would allow her diaphragm to exude.

The poor boy turned on his heel and slammed the door with pure terror inscribed onto his face. Sighing in frustration, Ryoma realised she had probably exploded a bit more than was necessary.

She resolved to make it up to Momo by treating him to burgers for once. Her pay check had finally gone in, so money was no problem as might have been otherwise.

She took a bit longer than usual in pulling her uniform on - she was relishing the last day she had in it. Her deal with the old bat had been to adorn the green thing when her regular uniform was completed, and she would be wearing it tomorrow.

Opening the door, she found Momo under the scrutiny of two angry third years, and one scribbling one.

"Momo, it isn't nice to peek on people when theyre changing" Fuji said in an eerily calm manner that could not possibly be good.

Tezuka said nothing but his stonier-than-normal face informed Momo of his displeasure without words.

"It was an accident, I swear! I heard Fuji saying Inui-sempai's creepy juice-  
"My juices are not creepy! They are healthy and nutritious!"  
"-made Echizen sick so I just went to check up on him… her… him… oh god I'm so confused!" he wailed pulling on his hair with both hands.

"It's fine, I was just freaked out and kind of pissed off, and so I vented on Momo-sempai when he popped up out of no-where" Ryoma interjected, noting the look of unwavering gratitude he sent her with one eye.

Fuji's smile instantly returned to normal, and he walked back to the courts whistling, closely followed a still scribbling Inui.

"I'm sure you want an explanation Momo so I'll give you the job of making sure Echizen gets home without collapsing halfway" Tezuka stated before turning back to the courts himself, leaving his juniors to a stunned silence.

Momo stared at Ryoma for a while, trying to start his question but filed miserably. Giving instructions to wait for him, he headed into the clubroom to change his own clothes.

Deciding sitting down was far more comfortable than standing, Ryoma made herself comfy on the concrete to wait.

* * *

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were a girl?" Momo raged in a friendly tone around a mouth-full of burger.

The sit down seemed to have done her good - Ryoma's stomach was no longer causing an internal blitzkrieg, allowing her to finally consume something for the first time that day since breakfast. She would probably regret choosing a burger for her meal later on, but she was starving _now._

Momo had been placated by decidedly larger burger peace offering, and finally seemed to have regained his tongue in the process. Pity really, Ryoma had been enjoying the silence. However, her wallet had gone on something of a diet. She was glad to have her job at Mitsumaru's now

"You never asked. It's not like I was hiding it on purpose…" she replied, biting her own burger oozing with gooey cheese. For some reason it was calming her previously irate mood tremendously.

"You're wearing the boys' uniform!" here piled through several chips, pointing at the black jacket for emphasis.

"The old-bat said I could until my regular uniform was made, it's a lot comfier and warmer than the girls' is, and I hate that green thing they call a uniform here," Ryoma informed him with a pointed slurp of her grape fanta.

"Well, I guess that explains why you never changed in front of us… or used the showers." Momo grunted, biting into his third burger of the day.  
"Actually the changing doesn't bother me so much; I have an older brother and the number of times he's ended up running around the house naked beggars belief" she corrected.

Momo stared at her in horror.

"Underwear is hardly going to scare me after that is it? But I draw a line at the showers."  
"Thank god… "  
"Aw, is Momo-sempai embarrassed that I've seen his undies?"  
"You aren't cute at all! Girls shouldn't say that stuff so casually either!" he shook his head in disapproval, horrified by he blasé attitude.

Explanation or not, girls were not supposed to be so relaxed changing with boys around! They just were not! He could not believe her grandmother had even let her get away with it. Then again, their coach was somewhat whack-a-doodle at times.

"I'm not trying to be cute."  
"See! Right there!"

* * *

"The design's a bit different from mine…" Momo noted, examining her regular jersey through the packaging.

While it had the same basic colour scheme, the design and the jersey itself had their differences to those worn by the current regulars. For one thing, it was not a zip-up, but a hooded pullover.

"That's because it's the girl's uniform you dolt. It's different to yours" Ryoma grunted, thanking god he had only taken interest in the jersey. The skirt was well hidden in her racket carrier.

They were looking for street courts to decide who would be giving up on their chance at the single's three spot, and Ryoma had taken the opportunity to pick up her uniform from Mitsumaru sports (Her boss had been positively gleeful when he realised it was hers).

"What? How come you aren't wearing our one?" he asked in confusion.  
"Because the officials are chauvinistic tradionalists and they made a rule saying that I couldn't. Something about awareness, buts that's just a cover-up for sexism…" Ryoma grumbled.

Momo aptly decided it would be in his best interest to drop the subject, lest he somehow become the wrath-ventilation-system once again

They were passing by one of the local parks when Ryoma's ears caught the sound of tennis balls hitting a court up a flight of stone steps. Exchanging identical glances, they immediately mounted the steps and headed towards the sounds floating towards their ears.

At the top of the steps, they found the only court to be occupied, but that did not mean they could exercise patience. As Momo inquired over the price of a game (free), Ryoma noticed a girl with short reddish-brown hair, perhaps a year her senior, sitting on the benches.

At first, she passed the girl off as a run-of-the-mill player - only interested as a side hobby - but then she caught sight of her racket bag.

It lay slumped on the ground, so she clearly did not intend to play for the moment, but it was a big as her own. She instantly changed her opinion of the girl - you did not carry three rackets around for the fun of it.

The girl gave her a curious glance before grinning, seemingly noticing the presence of another female, and waving cheerily. Ryoma was considering responding when she was jerked back to the matter she had originally come for.

"Sorry, this court is for doubles games only!" a spiky haired boy informed them. Ryoma instantly disliked his tone of voice; he was demeaning her somehow and she knew it!  
"Well, no point in standing around in our shorts is there?" Momo reasoned in a resigned tone.

Ryoma nodded.

As she did, her ears caught the words _'elementary schooler' _from someone's lips.

* * *

Screw it; she was going to pummel these obnoxious idiots into the dirt! She would do it right-handed! Then ask Momo toe help her work out the stiffness in her play-hand just to spite them!

Then they would see who was an elementary schooler!

"Ready?" Momo asked. There was a grim look painted on his face. Ryoma gave an equally grim nod.

Both clenched their fists, and cried out simultaneously.

"Three! Two! One! Jan-Ken-Pon!"

Ryoma held her fist in the air as Momo's spread into a flat palm. She did not bother to suppress her growl of irritation when he smirked in victory. Grumbling, she entered the bookshop and headed towards the sports section trying to arouse as little attention as possible.

After several minuets searching (and one moment debating whether the embarrassment would be worth it), she finally picked a childishly bright book with large pictures and horribly simple diagrams titled _'doubles for beginners'_.

Ignoring the giggles from two high shoolers, she dashed out of the shop as soon as the blasted book was officially paid for. It was harder to ignore Momo's snickers as she clambered onto the back of his bike, but she somehow managed it.

"Now we just need somewhere to practice" Momo frowned, kicking of from the pavement.

Ryoma was busy moving through her contact list, looking for one name in particular, but an inbuilt ability to multi-task (to some extent at any rate) allowed her to give him a legible solution.

"We can use the one at my house; I'll have to get the old man to turn the lights on at the shrine but I'm sure I can convince him…" Ryoma replied, still looking through her contacts menu.

"You can stay over in my brother's room if you want; that way we can practice later and get some early practice in tomorrow," she added.  
"You have your own court? Why didn't you say that in the first place?" Momo raved, only remembering to hold onto the handlebars of the bike because of Ryoma's reminder.

"Because the lighting isn't all that great; I only mentioned it because we have one night to become experts in doubles and I hadn't played a doubles match before tonight…" Ryoma replied absently, having finally located the number she was looking for.

"You were serious? I thought you were joking! I can't believe- hey, who are you calling at a time like this? God damn it, what is it with you girls and your phones?" he objected, glancing over his shoulder to catch sight of the device being pressed to her ear.

"Shut up and keep your eyes on the damn road! I'm phoning someone who can save our asses from total humiliation tomorrow!" Ryoma growled, just as the call was picked up.

Detention bored Bunta Marui to the extent he was reduced to reading his accursed Latin textbook (which was really an actual book with no hints on how to translate the gibberish on the page).

He probably would have enjoyed it if it had not been in Latin - it had plenty of gory stuff in it. His love of gore was something only understood by his cousin, no one else understood what he found so interesting about it.

He had already completed the essay on misuse of his phone (though really, it was Ryoma's fault. He would not have been caught if she did not insist on madness), but he was dreading practice the next morning.

Sanada had yet to emerge from his pissy mood, and he had missed three afternoon practices because of that tight ass Latin teacher; he was going to die a horrible painful death and Yanagi would make it certain his body was never found.

So of course, when the source of all his problems called, he was less than pleased. Luckily the old bat had gone home favour the night. Bunta was not stupid enough to leave early; if she found out, he would die a death far worse than what his irritable vice-captain could dish out.

"You'd better have a damn good reason for calling Ryoma! So help me I'll bribe Aunt Rinko into making straight western food for a month!" he growled, irritations from the past few weeks voicing themselves in his pick-up.

Momoshiro wondered if the caller was usually this irritated when his passenger called; Ryoma held the phone away from her ear (preventing deafness) with practiced ease.

"So you did get detention… you have to stop swearing at your Latin teacher so much. Anyway, that's beside the point. I need some of your expertise"

There was a static reply that Momoshiro could not make out.

"Think of it this way; you can be as sadistic as you want since you think I'm at fault for your detentions, and I'll buy you that bubblegum, the apple stuff-"  
_"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?"_ the boy (as he was now identif

ied) yelled, his excitement evident. Ryoma, for her part, was massaging the ear that she had previously been using.

"Whatever, can you just hurry up and get to my house?"  
_"IAM?"_

"Bunta, stop yelling, and stop yelling in Latin. That is why you keep getting detention! I don't understand a word you're saying," Ryoma grumbled, once again switching her ears.

There another quieter reply, before the mood that had been surrounding his female team-mate for the day suddenly returned with a vengeance.

"Because I will not be humiliated by two tennis _wannabes _and I am _not_ a damn elementary schooler!"

Yet more muffled replies.

"I told you to stop speaking in Latin Bunta," Ryoma growled through dangerously gritted teeth.

There was more distorted conversation, but thanks to the receiver's general loudness, Momo could notice the slightly more hurried reply, even if he could not make out the words.

"Tomorrow"  
_"QUIS?"_

"Will you give up with the Latin already?"

* * *

Keigo Atobe was feeling peckish. This was very unusual as Keigo kept to a very strict three meals a day programmed with designated snack-breaks. Thus, he could only believe Ryoma had gone and caused some sort of chaos again.

His suspicions were confirmed when he received a text from the afore mentioned chaos-causer's cousin.

_**From: **_.:Candy_Pop:.  
_**To: **_.:Awesome-Prowess:.  
_**Subject: **__Mutual Interest Gone Insane._

_Ryoma just ordered me to teach her and one of her team-mates how to play doubles in one night (you are a bad influence Ape Lord).  
__I do not think I have to explain this any further._

Keigo was usually well behaved, always never taking up his grandfathers offers of whisky when he routinely asked at 8pm. His mother, after all, hated alcohol with a fiery passion and his ear would never be the same if he accepted.

When the old man asked, he swiftly took the offered glass and downed the burning liquid in one quick gulp.

* * *

_**Double update! Le Gasp!**_

_**Handy Latin Translator!**_  
_** "IAM?"**_  
_** "NOW?"**_

_** "QUIS?"**_  
_** "WHAT? **_


End file.
